To quote local sports talker/anchor and all-around irrepressibly joyous guy Tony Rizzo: It's good to be alive!
It's even better to be a Cleveland sports fan, consider the facts:
baseball - Tribe is 2-1 and is a legitimate contender, the Aeros are returning enough players that they should be as good as ever, the Captains are dropping their program price from $3 to FREE as well as adding $22 all-you-can-eat seats (highway robbery on my part with an appetite like mine), and Avon's a near shoo-in for an independent team next year.
football - Gladiators are 3-1, Browns are confirmed for a preseason MNF game and are rumored to appear on SNF in the regular season and host the Thanksgiving night game, the Zips are only a year away from playing in a stadium that can pass a building inspection, and the Buckeyes just got Terrelle Pryor.
basketball - Cavaliers are all but certain to get home court in the first round, Vikings made the NIT, Buckeyes won the NIT, and the MAC tournament appears headed nowhere but up.
hockey - Monsters are drawing well, are trying, and are not being rumored to move. While the last two may sound like faint praise keep in mind the following two facts: the Sharks were so development minded that the Barons often appeared to be running practice drills in game situations, and the second phone call to the Barons office and the first question at their introductory press conference involved when the team would move.
soccer - City made the playoffs last year, look better for this year, and have picked up some major sponsorship.
auto racing - Every day that passes, it seems more likely that the Grand Prix will return in 2009 on the IndyCar schedule.
now, some advice for various people who need it
F1 chief Max Mosley - quit
Monsters equipment manager Terry Geer - Take Mike Wall's and Brent Kelly's jerseys, rip the numbers off and replace them with another number, any number! The Monsters are being punished by the hockey gods for being an AHL team in Cleveland and using the numbers of the great Johnny Bower and Freddy Glover. Those numbers belong in the rafters, not on the ice, even if the team isn't called the Barons.
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton - see advice to Max Mosley
Columbus Crew owner Clark Hunt - sell the team to Pizzuti
Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig - Break up the Royals!
Reebok employees responsible for designing NFL gear - Helmet: good, Elf: better!
That's all from the Woodchuck Hole for now! Remember, it's not a bad day unless you're in Hell, a war zone, or a hospital (or if you're a Miami sports fan).
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