Random reflections on a crazy weekend

Howdy! Hairpin here. I survived the weekend. Don't know how, but I did. Here's a few random observations.

Toronto FC's motto should be "Not Satisfied Until The Fire Department Gets Called In." Seriously, if the Dawg Pound threw that many smoke bombs onto the field, there'd be an uproar to kick the Browns out of the NFL. I love soccer, but some of these supporters groups are out of control (I'm talking to you, DC and Chicago).

Big Woodchuck Hole/Green Army/Crew Supporters Union props to Crew (and ex-City) midfielder Adam Moffat, who let loose an absolute golazo from what must have been 30-40 yards out for the first goal of the MLS season in the Crew's 2-0 victory over Pyromaniac FC. MLS can end their "Goal of the Year" promotion now, that was it! Okay, Green Army, say it with me!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Super Adam Moffat!

Also, congrats to Miami 300 winner Scott Dixon. It was great to see 25 cars on an Indycar grid as well as all of the top drivers on the same track. Not everything was good, however, as it is still plainly evident that Milka Duno is not capable of controlling an IndyCar on an oval for a full race. The problem is that Townsend Bell doesn't have enough sponsorship to run a full season in Dreyer & Reinbold's 2nd car. Thus, Milka gets to run the other races with her Citgo sponsorship. I'm thinking about starting a "Park Milka" campaign in order to get Mr. bell the necessary backing he needs to displace Milka and send her back to the type of racing she's good at: sportscars. I'll check around for pertinent figures as well as D&R's mailing address and post more info when I find it. I harbor no personal animosity towards Ms. Duno, by the way, I just think that she needs to leave the whole "female IndyCar driver" thing to those who are good at it, like Danica Patrick and Sarah Fisher.

Then there was Monday (OPENING DAY!!!!!!!!!!) The only thing more fun than opening day is kicking Chicago's butt on opening day. Baseball is back and the Tribe is looking good (Okay, the pitching was shaky, but it's only one game. By the way, it's not like anyone else in the AL Central has anything better) Right now all I know is that the Tribe is 1-0 and I am once again able to attend baseball games in person (the most fun a human being can possibly have).

Finally, there is the issue of the Monsters. Until this weekend, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with this team. It surely wasn't talent as the team has several players with NHL experience as well as some blue-chip prospects. It surely wasn't a lack of effort on the part of the coaching staff as Roy Sommer is nowhere in sight*. This weekend, however, it all became crystal clear. Just take a look at the following figures:

3/25 L 2-7 full-size rink
3/26 L 1-6 full size rink
3/28 L 1-4 full-size rink
3/29 OTL 5-6 short rink
3/30 L 1-6 full-size rink

These numbers make the necessary course of action crystal clear: shorten the rink @ the Q! After all, what's the sanctity of the 200X85 rink compared to brining the Calder Cup back to it's rightful home: Cleveland? It would also allow for some more seats, which appear to be necessary after Friday night's crowd of 14,343 (a legit number, by the way. If anything, there were comps that were not included), a number the NHL's Nashville Predators would kill for right now.

Also, am I the only one amazed that there were no penalties in sunday's game @ Toronto? Yes, you read that right: 0 PIM in 60 minutes of hockey!

Parting shot from the Woodchuck Hole: To those who claim that there is no connection between Saddam and 9/11 (meaning Al-Qaeda), explain this and this (neither article's from Fox News, so that's not an excuse).

*Roy Sommer, coach of the modern AHL Barons (01/02-05/06) was one of the most laid-back coaches, I've ever seen. I don't know whether or not it was a lack of interest in winning, but it sure came off that way.