The View From The Hairpin

The View From The Hairpin - 2010 IZOD IndyCar Series

2010-04-20T13:32:00.003-04:00

I'm doing this off memory (forgot to bring my printouts from TF with me to the library), so it may not exactly match the TF list.

This list counts as confirmed entries per the official Indy 500 entry list (released today - 4/21)

FULL-TIME
AA - 4 (Kanaan, Patrick, M. Andretti)
Penske - 3 (Castroneves, Briscoe, Power)
KVRT - 3 (Moraes, Viso, Sato)
Ganassi - 2 (Dixon, Wheldon)
Coyne - 2 (Lloyd, Duno)
D&R - 2 (Wilson, Conway)
Conquest - 2 (Romancini, Baguette)
DF/LD - 1 (Matos)
Panther - 1 (Wheldon)
Foyt - 1 (Meira)
FAZZT - 1 (Tagliani)
HVM - 1 (De Silvestro)
NHL - 1 (Mutoh)

EXPECTED FULL-TIME
AA - 1 extra (Hunter-Reay)

POSSIBLE LATE-START FULL-TIME
Lotus - 2 (Carroll, Rossiter)

PART-TIME
Fisher - 2 (Fisher/Rahal, Howard) Fisher/Rahal - 10 races, Howard - 5 races
AA - 1 extra (J. Andretti) Kansas, Indy
KVRT - 1 extra (Tracy) Indy, Toronto, Edmonton
DF/LD - 1 extra (Hamilton) Indy, texas, one more oval
D&R - 1 extra (Beatriz/Scheckter?) Brazil, Indy (Indy driver unconfirmed)

POSSIBLE PART-TIME
HVM - 1 extra (Strous) Indy + post-Indy RCs
SFR?/NHL? - 1 extra (Rahal) Kansas, Indy

INDY ONE-OFFS
Foyt - 2 extra (Foyt IV, J. Lazier)
RLR - 1 extra (Servia?/Rahal?)
Vision/Panther - 1 (Carpenter)
D&R - 1 extra (both Beatriz and Scheckter?)
AFS/AA - 1 (Hildebrand)
BHA - 1 (Saavedra)
FAZZT - 1 extra (Junqueira)
3G - 1 (Antinucci)
SSM/Ganassi - 1 (Bell)

AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-18T16:50:00.003-05:00

Let's see where we are as Cleveland sports fans:

Indians - The Tribe are no longer even picking up options on players. If the next CBA goes the players' way, look for Dolan to sell. He seems to be a good man and I'm all but certain that he cares, but he's in over his head. Still, I'd rather have him owning the team than someone who had the team contending, but was looking for a new ballpark already or trying to move the team. Dolan is to the 2000s what Mileti was to the 70s (at least in regards to the Tribe).

Browns - This is an absolute train wreck. I would say that it can't get any worse, but this season has taught me to never say never, especially on the downside. The NFLPA is investigating the coach, the GM has been fired after 1/2 of a season, the team barely sold out a MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL GAME!, the road unis now include ugly, stripeless brown pants, and are underdogd to the Detroit Lions. Holmgren may be able to turn this around, but if he can't, I have no idea about the future of football in Cleveland.

Cavaliers - Almost losing to an 8-man Warriors side last night notwithstanding, this is the city's lone major league bright spot. As long as they resign Lebron (and any other team with the cap space are counting on Lebron taking less $ to go to a worse team), the future at the Q looks bright.

Next time, a look at Cleveland minor league sports at the twilight of the 2000s.

Is nothing sacred anynmore?!

2009-04-02T15:15:00.002-04:00

This rant is something of an update to my prior post. Like all holidays, Crewsmas (Columbus Crew home opener), has drifted from it true meaning. Just as Christmas has morphed from a celebration of the Savior's birth to an occasion to sell "executive gifts" (i.e. dollar store toy mini pool tables with a particleboard casing) and the birthdays of Washington and Lincoln (and MLK to an increasing extent) have ceased to be about celebrating the lives of great Americans as much as about getting a good deal on a mattress, Crewsmas has ceased to be a celebration of the massiveness of the Crew, and has become an excuse for Canadians to riot. But aren't Canadians a peace-loving people? As a rule, yes. But one needs look no further than the supporters' groups of Toronto FC to find the exception. Throwing flares ans smoke bombs on the field, destroying South End seating, and antagonizing Columbus' finest. As if that wasn't enough, there are rumblings that they want to sue the Crew and the City of Columbus. I'm no expert in the American legal system, but I'm pretty sure it's the ones who were attacked, intimidated, and had their property destroyed that have standing to sue, not the perpetrators. Crew matches often become spirited affairs, especially when DC United or Chicago Fire is visiting, but the wannabe-hooligan antics of Pyromaniac FC have raised the crap to the level that I feel comfortable breaking out a four-letter word that makes the US soccer establishment uncomfortable: riot. There I said it. Toronto's supporters incited a full-blown soccer riot on Saturday. For that, they should be placed under a complete travel ban. Harsh, you might say. Thus it is, but flagrant violations of the law and general order deserve harsh punishment. If they can't keep their shtick to nonsensical chants of "This is our house!" (memo to TFC fans: It's not even your country.), they shouldn't be allowed to travel around MLS stadia looking for a fight.

On a brighter note (almost anything would be), the IndyCar Series will have 22 entries for its opener Sunday in St. Pete and 23+ (I'm hoping for and predicting +) at it's second round two weeks later in Long Beach. Both races will air on the Versus network (check your local listings for times).

Until later, good bye from the Woodchuck Hole and remember: chanting - good, throwing flares and destroying seats - bad.

Sleep, Need Sleeep...

2009-03-28T11:28:00.004-04:00

Whew! Sleep deprivation does not do much for my mind. Two nights ago I got 3 hours of sleep and last night I had some weird dreams (including one where open records law proponents created a drinking game centered around the evening news to promote their cause, as I said - sleep deprivation = poor brain function, even while asleep)

Another IndyCar season is nearly upon us, hopefully some of the currently questionable entries materialize this week and we'll be able to see 22-24 on the grid next Sunday at St. Pete.

Man, I can't wait for May!

Finally, I'd like to wish any Columbus Crew supporters reading this a MASSIVE CREWSMAS. I'm heading south down I-71 in about an hour, see y'all at Hunt Park!

Until then, goodbye from the Woodchuck Hole and remember, You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. However, former Cuyahoga County Sheriff Gerald McFaul came as close as anybody I've seen so far.

I'm back again!

2009-02-20T16:12:00.001-05:00

Sorry for not posting for so long, but I'm back (fall semester was rough).

Look for updates soon!

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

2008-09-12T16:00:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the long layoff. I was on vacation followed by getting re-acclimated to grad school. I'll have my thoughts on the Olympics and the political conventions in later posts (If you think I'm re-hashing the mess that was Browns training camp, you're nuts!) Today's post will just be a few random thoughts.

Congrats to:

- City for winning the Second Division title
- The Captains for making the playoffs
- The Aeros for being two wins away from the EL title (Game 3 tonight at 6:05 in Trenton and on 1350 AM with pregame at 5:50.)

- Sarah Palin may be just the boost McCain needed to energize the GOP's conservative base and take the election.

- NASCAR is all set for the chase. This should be fun. Granted, it would be more fun if they were running the old "aero" cars and had a true points race, but it's all that's left to watch in the way of 1 mile+ oval racing now that IndyCar's season is over (there is a non-points race Oct. 26th, but that's a street race).

That reminds me: Congrats to ICS Champion Scott Dixon!

That's all I can think of right now. By the way, some of the Hairpin's handiwork will be on display in Downtown Cleveland beginning next month. Along the new "Euclid Corridor HealthLine" transit line on Euclid Ave., there will be touch-screens with pictures and sound bites on Cleveland history. The sound bites on the Cleveland Arena are from an interview I conducted and I was heavily involved in the photo selection process.

That's all for now, see ya soon!

Pro Football HOF weekend

2008-08-06T18:00:00.003-04:00

The HOF game was pretty interesting this year. There was the sheer irony of Peyton Manning missing a game in NE Ohio (think week 17, last season), the Colts onside kick to start the game and the new year of professional outdoor football, and the colts frantic attempt to come back at the end. Friday was pretty cool, too. I visited the Hall of Fame (If you haven't been there recently, it's worth another visit. There's been a lot of changes in the past year.) and attended the Browns scrimmage, which was awesome until it degenerated into karaoke night between the scrimmage and the fireworks show. I have this strange feeling that Paul Brown would never have stood for the Browns field being used in such a way.

By the way, the hall had an excellent exhibit on pro football and patriotism (players/owners in military, NFL in wartime) that will be on tour soon. No specifics on when and where yet, but I'll keep y'all up to date.

Speaking of historical displays, I should be able to divulge details soon of where you can see a historical exhibit for which I was, in veeeeeeery small part, responsible (this was my secondary project, my primary project is a little farther from yielding any public displays).

Earth to Ryan Garko, Earth to Garko, do you copy?

I have narrowly averted two sports debacles in the past month. I was seriously considering attending Crew v. West Ham (West Ham fans started a melee in the section where I was going to sit) and the Brickyard 400 (the saddest excuse for a stock car race EVER due to worthless tires) but changed plans at the last second.

NBA schedule is out. Cavaliers open 10/28 @ Boston, the Bobcats are in Cleveland two nights later for the Cavs' return to the Q. Celtics are here 1/9 and 4/12, Lakers are here 2/8, and since I know that at least one Jazz fan reads this blog, Utah's at the Q on 11/15.

talk to y'all later!

Bits of Comedy

2008-08-05T17:32:00.002-04:00

I have this strange feeling that John Kerry may be Barack Obama's running mate. It all goes back to his "57 states" comment.

I'm working on a list of the "Ten Immutable Laws of Good Country Music." The list is incomplete at this moment, but among them will almost certainly be "adding a banjo to preteen bubblegum pop music does not make it country."

If a tree falls in the press area at a McCain speech, does it make a sound?

crapwagon.com (that was the punchline)

On to a couple of serious notes

- In regards to the World Court's attempt to halt Texas' execution of an illegal immigrant because the Mexican consulate was not contacted: What good was a consulate going to do when the man had already admitted guilt? By the way, I am not in favor of frying rapists. It's too humane for such scum. I tend to favor hanging or human pinata.

- Regarding all this talk about getting rid of oil by using alternative energy: there are two problems here
- All of the truly viable alternatives are for electrical power, not transportation. I don't know about where you live, but here in Ohio we use coal, not oil, to produce electricity.
- The only currently viable vehicular alternative (hybrids) only reduces oil usage. It doesn't eliminate it.

I'm not saying don't pursue alternatives, but be realistic about their benefits. Now if we could harness the wind our politicians spew out this campaign season....

Buncha random stuff

2008-07-26T14:16:00.002-04:00

Now that the Indy Lights races from Mid-Ohio have aired, I can story. Last lap, what has been a disaster of a rain-plagued/shortened race is now ending under yellow. All Jonny Reid has to do is take the final turn onto the start/finish straight and take the checkers to win the second race of Mid-Ohio's Twin 100s. Inexplicably, he pulls into the pits and hands the victory to James Davison. Reid finished 9th. Bombardier R142 summed this up nicely on TrackForum, "If he wins Indy 100 times, he's never going to live this down."

I attended the first Browns practice of the new year. As usual, it was a short walk through in shorts, but it was good to see outdoor football back. Look for reports from the Hall of Fame festivities next week.

Casey Blake trade just happened. I'll post more after I have time to examine further. for those who haven't heard yet, he was traded to the Dodgers for a good high-A catcher and an iffy AAA reliever (who will likely be the anchor of the Tribe pen within three weeks).

By the way, Indians home vs. Minnesota tonight and tomorrow with Detroit coming in for four next week. City hosts Bermuda tonight in a should win and a virtual must win in order to earn a crucial bye to the semifinals. Aeros home vs. Binghamton tonight and tomorrow with Erie in for the week. Captains host West Virginia through Monday, Greensboro in for the week.

Two more Tribe prospects are going to the Olympics as Aeros reliever T.J. Burton and K-Tribe outfielder Nick Weglarz have been selected for Team Canada. Hopefully, the Tribe can work out a deal to get Choo down to the minors temporarily so he can play for South Korea and try to win a medal and get out of a military obligation that could keep him off the Indians roster for two years.

On a parting note, I urge any IndyCar fans who view the Brickyard 400 as some kind of desecration to calm down. There's nothing wrong with a track hosting multiple races, it's perfectly normal.

Thoughts from Mid-Ohio

2008-07-21T17:03:00.002-04:00

It was nice to see OW cars navigat a hairpin, even if it was the Keyhole and not THE HAIRPIN at Burke. The weekend was pretty fun. Congratulations to Honda 200 winner Scott Dixon and Acura Sportscar Challenge overall winners Lucas Luhr and Marco Werner. What follows are my thoughts regarding the IndyCar and ALMS races. My thoughts on the Indy Lights and World Challenge races will be posted later after they have appeared on tape-delay TV. I was unable to make it to the track on Friday, so I missed the IMSA Challenge races.

The track was pretty well laid out with the exception of having the finish line on a heavily obstructed straightaway (no viewing mounds or grandstands had any view of it). They should move it to the start line between the Keyhole and the Esses.

The staff was extremely friendly and competent. No complaints here.

The merchandise was also top-notch (especially the plush woodchucks!). The only problem here was the lack of grid sheets for the ALMS and ICS races.

Had a good time wandering around the ICS paddock (not enough time to check out the ALMS garages). I had a chance to talk with some pit crew members, including those from the cars of Justin Wilson, Marty Roth, and Milka Duno, as well as crew members from the Indy Lights team of Dillon Battistini.

I kept thinking how good of a NASCAR course Mid-Ohio would be, then I reminded myself that they'd just end up emasculating it a la the NASGLEN.

By the way, does anyone find the irony in Roth Racing's garage placement next to the restrooms, given their recent fortunes (lack of sponsorship, being forced to shutter the #24 car)?

With all the ethanol being used in these races, I'm shocked there was any corn left in the cornfields surrounding the track.

The viewing areas were packed for the ICS race. I was kinda shocked that they were less so for the ALMS on Saturday.

A tip to anyone attending an ALMS race in person. The lights on the side of the cars indicate the top 3 in each class: 1 light = 1st place in class, 2 = 2nd, 3 = 3rd.

All in all a fun weekend and well worth the sunburn and exhaustion. My next update should be on Thursday with a recap of Wednesday's opening Browns practice. My thoughts on Mid-Ohio Indy Lights (you don't want to miss this one) will be posted on Friday as the races will air Thursday on ESPN2 (2PM).

All-Star Thoughts

2008-07-17T17:52:00.002-04:00

Ah! What a week. The final All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. While I had long believed that nothing could live up to the hype generated for this week, I was proven waaaay wrong. Let's look back at the All-Star Break that was, Woodchuck Hole style!

Sunday - Futures Game - great performance by LaPorta. USA still gets head handed to them by World.

Monday - Home Run Derby - Sizemore fails to advance out of first round. I was pretty bummed until Josh Hamilton's performance came along. 28 homers, 13 in a row. That he didn't win it was a travesty. I often disagree with WKNR's Kenny Roda, but he made an excellent point in saying that the Home Run Derby should also have a carryover from the Semis to the Final, not just from the Quarters to the Semis.

Tuesday - All-Star Game - Most people view 15 innings of prime-time baseball as a never-ending bore. I regard it as a little slice of Heaven, especially with a scorecard in my hand. Seriously, what's more fun than the challenge of finding space on a scorecard for the 15th inning, especially at 1:30 in the morning? As fun as the scoring was, the game was even more exciting: numerous stolen bases and plays at the plate, watching the best of the best (the fan vote this year confirmed that fans are capable of looking past names and voting in the best guys) go at it, and best of all, key contributions from Indians players. Two shutout innings, one hit given up by Cliff Lee and Grady Sizemore scoring the game-tying run. The best part of the ight, however, was the pregame ceremony with the Hall of Famers standing in the field alongside the starters. To see that many of the greatest to play the game in both this era and those prior was awesome. My concern, however, is that many people watched this ceremony and didn't recognize many of the names being announced. Seriously, it amazes me how many people follo a sport and don't know it's history. My advice to such people is to pick one sport they follow and learn the history of it, you will enjoy that sport so much more knowing where it came from.

Wednesday - LaPorta and Stevens named to All-Star team, WA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Here's some All-Star trivia

- This year marked the fourth and final time that Yankee Stadium hosted the All-Star Game.
- The first three times it did, the Yankees won the AL Pennant, a streak that will likely be broken, given the strong play of the Red Sox and the Rays.
- While Yankee Stadium is the ballpark to host the All-Star Game and World Series action in the same year on multiple occasions, one other team has done it twice, albeit in two different ballparks. Who was that team? (answer in next entry)

My uncle made an interesting observation at a Captains game I attended with him recently: How does baseball expect to develop players in leagues with two-man umpire crews? However, that is just what baseball now does in half-season and single-A ball. My uncle also had a great solution: increase the luxury tax on high payrolls and put the money towards hiring the extra umpires needed to put three-man crews in all of organized baseball.

One concluding thought: WTAM's Kevin Keane claims that baseball is the "one sport invented by God." Given Mr. Keane's line of reasoning, could it be more than mere coincidence that the Rays suddenly improved after dropping "Devil" form their nickname?

Again, look for my Mid-Ohio updates this weekend. If you're in the Northern Ohio area this weekend, you may want to stop by the races as many of the cars and drivers from the Indianapolis 500 and 24 Hours of Le Mans (including the winners of both races) will be running. Le Mans cars on Saturday, Indy cars on Sunday. I'll post a full listing of weekend sports activity in NE Ohio tomorrow.

Update of last post

2008-07-16T19:07:00.002-04:00

I saw Bryson pitch for Lake County on Sunday. I have no idea what to make of this guy. He went two innings. Looked like Mariano Rivera the first and Denis Boucher the second. the furry jury's still out on him. Well, he is in low single-A, so he has time to get more consistent.

On the Olympic team front, Bisons P Jeff Stevens and Aeros OF Matt LaPorta were named to Team USA earlier today (Wednesday).

Look for my reports from the Le Mans sportscar and IndyCar races at Mid-Ohio this weekend.

The Sunnier Side of Life in a Woodchuck Hole

2008-07-11T16:59:00.005-04:00

Okay, enough venting. Back to the usual.

The LaPorta Reporta

I had a chance to go down to Akron last night and watch Matt Laporta (the key player the Tribe got in return for CC) play for the Aeros last night. He got two hits, the second of which was part of 4-run rally in the 8th that tied the game at 9 (Aeros won 10-9 after scoring another run in the 9th). He's been pretty impressive and is under consideration (along with Aeros 3B Wes Hodges) for the US Olympic Baseball Team. I'm hoping to see Rob Bryson (the other serious prospect received already) soon as he is playing in Eastlake with the Captains.

All in all, I have no problems with the trade. It will be nearly impossible for the Tribe to sign CC and, even if they are willing to pay him enough, it's not like they've traded to a team that has the kind of money needed to lock him up pre-free agency. Besides the prospects mentioned above, they will also get a very good player to be named later. The fourth player, pitcher Zach Jackson, was a throw-in and likely won't have much of an impact on the organization this year as the Bisons' season is in worse shape than the Tribe's.

On the subject of the Indians' AAA affiliate, it's changing next year. While not officially announced, it is the worst kept secret in organized baseball* that the Tribe are switching their AAA affiliation to the Columbus Clippers, who will be moving into a new ballpark (Huntington Park) in downtown Columbus near Nationwide Arena.

* The worst kept secret in all of baseball is the Avon expansion franchise for next year in the independent Frontier League.

Gladiators

Yep, the Gladiators have made it to the National Conference Championship Game. It's tomorrow (Saturday) at 1PM in Philadelphia. TV on ESPN and radio on WKNR 850AM.

Now for the list of live sporting events in the area this weekend.

Indians vs. Rays - Progressive Field
Tonight and Tomorrow - 7:05 PM - fireworks after both games
Sunday - 1:05 PM

City vs. Crystal Palace Baltimore - Krenzler Field (CSU)
Tomorrw - 7:00 PM

Captains vs. Asheville Tourists
Tonight and Tomorrow - 7:05 PM - fireworks after both games
Sunday - 1:05 PM

Finally, some concluding thoughts

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to HVM Racing IndyCar driver EJ Viso, who is missing this week's Nashville 200 with a case of the mumps.

Only 92 days until the Monsters opener!

On that note, have a good weekend and stay safe. I'm headed back into the Woodchuck Hole.

The Ventings of the Marmot

2008-07-11T12:25:00.002-04:00

Where to begin, oh where to begin. How ab..hold on, the stewardess is on the intercom

(Earthlings: may I have your attention, please return your tray tables to an upright position as we begin our final descent into Hell. Thank you for flying Handbasket Airlines)

Yep, it's as I've figured. The world has officially gone to Hell in a handbasket. While what follows may seem like the rantings of an old curmudgeon, rest assured they are not. They are, in fact, the rantings of a young curmudgeon. (Man, I am going to be brutal to be around in 60 years when I'm old)

First of all, Congress has a 9% approval rating. I realize that Bush (for whatever reason) is not very popular, but he's a rock star compared to Congress. To me, the fact that Congress hasb't been thrown out on it's head shows what is good and what isn't about America. The fact that a 9% approval rating hasn't brought about armed insurrection (it has happened to more popular governments elsewhere) is indicative of the American people's strong dedication to the peaceful transfer of power, a key pillar in America's exceptionalism. However, the fact that there are not recall elections underway from coast-to-coast indicates how removed from the political process most Americans are (seriously, when more people vote in a karaoke contest than the Presidential election, something is wrong). What's wrong, by the way, is politicians so unresponsive to those with the power to hire and fire them that a 9% approval rating even becomes possible.

Also, when did people become so easily offended. I understand that there are some words, actions, and ideologies that are truly ofensive and should not be tolerated. I also am aware that a "black hole" is an astronomical occurrence and a metaphor for a rapidly declining situation and not a racial slur. I am also pretty sure that most people who dislike sushi do so because they prefer their seafood cooked and not out of some racist feelings toward Japan or its culture. As the above linked articles point out, however, not everyone seems to share my sentiments in this regard.

Finally, a little advice from the Woodchuck Hole:

1 - pay attention to who you're voting for, it matters

2 - save your outrage for legitimate outrages, there's enough of them that it's not worth raising your blood pressure any higher trying to find some

Until later today, when I post what I hope will be a cheerier entry, see ya!

Weekend in Review

2008-06-23T16:39:00.002-04:00

The Good

- Gladiators home for the Wild Card game! 7PM next Monday (the 30th) against Orlando @ the Q.

- Indians take two of three from the Dodgers

- Aeros finish roadtrip 6-1

The Bad
- Indians finish roadtrip 2-4

The Indifferent
- City draws Wilmington nil-nil (this actually could be filed under bad, City was at Krenzler with the Green Army in full force and only managed to draw a pitiful Wilmington side. In their defense, lousy officiating robbed City of what should have been the game-winner.)

The Ugly
- It was a tough weekend in auto racing (and I don't mean WEWS running way too long with their severe weather update and pre-empting the end of the Iowa 250, I only wish I did). Two drivers were lost this week in freakish crashes. As most have you have probably heard, Funny Car racer Scott Kalitta was killed in a fiery crash at the Supernationals in Englishtown N.J. on Saturday (By the way, out of respect for the Kalitta family and his colleagues and competitors on the NHRA circuit, I am not posting a link to crash footage here.) Also this past weekend, a club racer from Michigan named Dino Crescentini (not the one who drives in SWC Touring, he's from California) was killed in a vintage Can-Am race at the Mosport road course in suburban Toronto. Please pray first and foremost for God to comfort the grieving families and friends of these two racers, but also for the sanctioning bodies and track owners that they would use these two accidents as an impetus to vastly improve their safety precautions, especially at the two tracks in question. Please, let something come of these untimely passings.

Hair-Zen - Questions That Make You Think (Or Something Like That)

2008-06-19T18:18:00.002-04:00

Is it morally inconsistent to be bigoted towards bigots?

What is a woddchuck? (see prior post)

What is a supermodified modified from?

Does God have a sense of humor?

How much wu could a wuchak chak if a wuchak could chak wu? (hint: etymology is key to understanding this one)

If a Lexus-Riley is a Daytona Prototype and an Audi R10 Diesel is a Le Mans Prototype, why isn't a Porsche Spyder RS referred to as a Sebring Prototype (or maybe a Braselton Prototype)?

At what point point does a baseball team get on base so infrequently that it just becomes a "ball" team?

If having children is the ultimate earthly purpose of humans, why are there ugly people?

On a serious note, if having children is the ultimate earthly purpose of humans, why are there barren people?

Finally, why do mathematicians have such trouble understanding the full nature of pie? It's tasty, that's all you need to know.

Random Musings From The Woddchuck Hole

2008-06-14T16:51:00.002-04:00

Howdy, y'all. I'm back with a bunch of non-connected thoughts.

First off, the woodchuck hole may once again ring with the sounds of fast and shiny indycars as Cleveland has made its pitch to IRL officials for inclusion in the '09 ICS schedule (hopefully the schedule release in early July brings good news).

Second, the Indians are urging fans to "celebrate the 70s" at this weekend's series. No offense, but what was there to celebrate? Watergate? Oil shortages? Leisure suits? Baseball that makes 4 under .500 feel like winning the World Series? Uniforms that made Boog Powell look like a giant tomato? Just asking.

I was conducting an interview with an older hockey fan recently regarding the old Arena here in Cleveland (info on how those of you reading this blog here in Cleveland can hear clips of this and other interviews I have conducted on the topic will be posted later this summer!) and heard a lot about how much simpler games used to be and how people used to get excited about the game. Which begs the question: Do we really need flamethrowing scoreboards and music played at louder than racecar levels to get pumped up for a game?

It has been said that bad things, especially deaths of notable people, happen in threes, the past week has been no exception as the television industry has been hit particularly hard. The losses of sportscaster Charlie Jones and Jim McKay, along with political analyst Tim Russert have made this a difficult week for the broadcast media. I don't particularly remember much about Jones, but to me McKay and Russert represent a largely past age of reporters who did just that: report, fairly and without bombast. A style all too rare in today's world of political screamfests and over-the-top sports announcing. Rest in Peace, Charlie, Jim, and Tim.

Crazy Memorial Day Weekend (belated post)

2008-06-04T14:44:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the layoff, I've been a busy marmot. Especially in the week leading up to Memorial Day. Here's a recap.

Monday: Let's see, free tickets, free parking, $1 hot dogs, $1 scorecard, how can it get any better. Kicking a Pittsburgh team's affi;iate, that's how! Akron Aeros 5, Altoona Curve 3.

Tuesday: Lutheran West (my alma mater) clobbers Brooklyn 11-5 to finish up a PAC-10 (Hey, our last conference was called the MAC, we can't resist ripping off D1 college conference names) championship baseball season. Fun was had by all. marmot or human, unless they were wearing blue and gold. Read all about the shellacking here.

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday: I'll update this if I remember anything.

Saturday: Indians beat the Rangers 5-2 behind a magnificent performance by Cliff Lee, who picked up his 7th victory of the season. This was followed by an all night drive to Indy punctuated by a brief stopover at a Dayton Motel 6.

Sunday: Woke up, picked up some donuts for all the fans of real, shiny, and fast IndyCar racing at Camp & Brew (thanks for the t-shirt, guys!). Finished the journey into Indy, hung out at C&B, entered the Speedway, downed a tenderloin (and a box lunch), and watched Scott Dixon win the 92nd Running! Returned to C&B and then left for home. This is where everything went wrong. Me and my mother, the roo (long story), managed to arrive in Dayton right when all the restaurants were closing, rather than eat more fast food (we'd had enough already), we decided to keep going. We found nothing. With exhaustion setting in we found a truck stop a bit south of Mansfield where we managed to get some food from an Arby's (at this point, we were hungrier than we were picky) and directions to a Best Western (phew!).

Monday: Finish homeward trip, catch Coke 600 on tape, watch indians lose to White Sox 6-3 (in person), sleep off crazy week.

The Woodchuck Emergeth from his Hole

2008-05-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the long period of inactivity, but the semester is nearing an end and I have been an absurdly busy woodchuck. Here is my take on what has happened in the interim.

Congratulations to Danica Patrick on her first win!

Congratulations to Graham Rahal on the 2008 Champ Car Championship

The Steel Army (Pittsburgh Riverhounds supporters): nice folks until you meet them online.

It's too bad that the American League doesn't have the same hyper-diluted playoffs as the NBA and Arena Football, the Tribe would be selling playoff tickets right now.

I am loving how the Crew is starting their season! All hail Sigi! LA Galaxy fans everywhere are kicking themselves right about now (or having some self-kicking machine from some high-end catalog do it for them, I'm not entirely sure).

The Browns had a great draft without even picking on day 1. I can't wait for training camp!!!!

Presidential endorsement time: While I am not in complete (or even significant) agreement with any of the candidates, I am supporting John McCain because his military experience makes him uniquely suited among the three candidates to lead our country in a time of war (even if we pull out of Iraq, we're still in it for the long haul against Al-Qaeda).

It's another crazy weekend in Cleveland sports, here's the rundown for tonight. (I'll post again tomorrow with Tomorrow and Sunday's games.)

Tonight
Indians vs. Royals - 7:05PM Fireworks
Gladiators vs. Soul - 7:00PM $10 upper deck tickets, $10 off lower deck tickets
City Stars vs. City Islanders 7:00PM Old-Timers Game @ halftime
Captains vs. Grasshoppers 7:05PM

If you aren't planning to go out and see a game live tonight, you're still in good shape. Cavaliers/Wizards Game 6 is on ESPN2, FSN Ohio, WUAB-43, and WTAM-1100 at 7:00PM.

Random musings on the state of Soccer in america

2008-04-11T16:55:00.001-04:00

The US soccer season is up and running, so here's some musings from the Woodchuck Hole about the World's Game:

America has five soccer leagues. Only one is crying "fixture congestion," only one is scheduling stand-alone U.S. Open Cup Qualifiers (outside the league schedule). Inexplicably, it's the same league.

Am I the only person who finds it odd that Cleveland State and Cleveland City play at the same ground?

Is Sallieu Bundu 2008's Adam Moffatt?

CONCACAF is based in New York. CONCACAF has just announced a Champions League tournament that could see games played in New York (or worse, Toronto) in the dead of winter. Apparently, CONCACAF decision makers don't go outside much.

On a Non-Soccer-Related note, the Indy 500 entry list is out. As any fan of Indy knows, however, this entry list is not the complete story. At the very least, it's not May without AJ Foyt bringing out a backup car on Bump Day (May 18th this year) to bump a driver or team he doesn't like from the fabled eleven rows of three. Seriously, it isn't, April just keeps counting up to the 61st otherwise.

It's a great weekend in Cleveland and Akron sports. There's something for virtually any sports fan in town this week. Here's a list:

Tonight
7:00 Colorado Crush (owned by Elway) @ Gladiators (partailly owned by Kosar) - arena football
7:05 Oakland Athletics @ Indians - season's first fireworks show
7:05 Bowie Baysox @ Akron Aeros - Indians-affiliated AA baseball - first fireworks of 2008

Tomorrow
2:05 Baysox @ Aeros - magnet schedules to the first 2,000
7:00 Rochester Raging Rhinos @ City - exhibition minor league soccer @ Byers Field - preceded by introductory press conference @11:30 AM and youth tournament
7:05 Athletics @ Indians - stocking caps to all fans
7:30 Hamilton Bulldogs @ Lake Erie Monsters - AAA hockey, fan appreciation night, final 2008 home game

Sunday
1:05 Athletics @ Indians - coin bank to all kids
2:05 Baysox @ Aeros
5:00 Columbus Crew @ City - MLS team visits Byers Field (City regular season matches are @ CSU) - preceded by Christian worship @ noon and youth tournament

Have a good weekend, y'all! (I'm quarter-southern, I can get away with saying "y'all")

A bit of marmot humor

2008-04-07T17:40:00.002-04:00

With the prior sports weekend not much to write home about (besides the Monsters' shootout win on Friday in front of 12,300 - imagine the numbers if they counted the comps!), I have decided to impart some of the products of my furry sense of humor upon ye, the readership of this blog. Today's theme: my nicknames for various people or groups and why I call 'em that.

Mindy (KISS frontman Gene Simmons) - Gene has done various promotional work for the IndyCar series as part of the series' contract with his Abramson-Simmons PR firm. This work included a theme song titled "I am Indy." However, since sung words ending in m tend to meld into the following word if it starts with a vowel, it sounds like he is singing "I am Mindy." If he says he's Mindy, then who am I to argue?

Rahalito (IndyCar Driver, and St. Pete GP winner, Graham Rahal) Graham's the son of legendary IndyCar driver Bobby Rahal and is thus the Little Rahal or, in Spanish (my second language), Rahalito! Also it just sounds cool, seriously, try saying it a few times without smiling. Rahalito, Rahalito, Rahalito, see?

Beck Ham United (MLS club Los Angeles Galaxy) The name (a play on the English Premiership's West Ham United) is self-explanatory. Galaxy's a one-man show. It's all about Beckham.

Pyromaniac FC (MLS club Toronto FC) For those of you who have not seen TFC's ultras (The Red Army) in action, they are known for throwing smoke bombs onto the field and would probably use flares if they could get them past stadium security at the away games.

Finally on a sad note, the city of Cleveland is a little worse place than it was when I last posted. Gib Shanley has passed away. While I am too young to remember Gib calling Browns games (he called his last when I was still in diapers), I remember his work as a sports anchor on WUAB 43 and as a Sunday night sports editorialist on WEWS 5. Cleveland sports has lost one of its true greats.

Oh! To Be a Cleveland Sports Fan Right Now! (aka Chuckin' Wood and Lovin' Life!)

2008-04-04T13:39:00.000-04:00

To quote local sports talker/anchor and all-around irrepressibly joyous guy Tony Rizzo: It's good to be alive!

It's even better to be a Cleveland sports fan, consider the facts:

baseball - Tribe is 2-1 and is a legitimate contender, the Aeros are returning enough players that they should be as good as ever, the Captains are dropping their program price from $3 to FREE as well as adding $22 all-you-can-eat seats (highway robbery on my part with an appetite like mine), and Avon's a near shoo-in for an independent team next year.

football - Gladiators are 3-1, Browns are confirmed for a preseason MNF game and are rumored to appear on SNF in the regular season and host the Thanksgiving night game, the Zips are only a year away from playing in a stadium that can pass a building inspection, and the Buckeyes just got Terrelle Pryor.

basketball - Cavaliers are all but certain to get home court in the first round, Vikings made the NIT, Buckeyes won the NIT, and the MAC tournament appears headed nowhere but up.

hockey - Monsters are drawing well, are trying, and are not being rumored to move. While the last two may sound like faint praise keep in mind the following two facts: the Sharks were so development minded that the Barons often appeared to be running practice drills in game situations, and the second phone call to the Barons office and the first question at their introductory press conference involved when the team would move.

soccer - City made the playoffs last year, look better for this year, and have picked up some major sponsorship.

auto racing - Every day that passes, it seems more likely that the Grand Prix will return in 2009 on the IndyCar schedule.

now, some advice for various people who need it

F1 chief Max Mosley - quit

Monsters equipment manager Terry Geer - Take Mike Wall's and Brent Kelly's jerseys, rip the numbers off and replace them with another number, any number! The Monsters are being punished by the hockey gods for being an AHL team in Cleveland and using the numbers of the great Johnny Bower and Freddy Glover. Those numbers belong in the rafters, not on the ice, even if the team isn't called the Barons.

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton - see advice to Max Mosley

Columbus Crew owner Clark Hunt - sell the team to Pizzuti

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig - Break up the Royals!

Reebok employees responsible for designing NFL gear - Helmet: good, Elf: better!

That's all from the Woodchuck Hole for now! Remember, it's not a bad day unless you're in Hell, a war zone, or a hospital (or if you're a Miami sports fan).

Random reflections on a crazy weekend

2008-04-01T13:29:00.000-04:00

Howdy! Hairpin here. I survived the weekend. Don't know how, but I did. Here's a few random observations.

Toronto FC's motto should be "Not Satisfied Until The Fire Department Gets Called In." Seriously, if the Dawg Pound threw that many smoke bombs onto the field, there'd be an uproar to kick the Browns out of the NFL. I love soccer, but some of these supporters groups are out of control (I'm talking to you, DC and Chicago).

Big Woodchuck Hole/Green Army/Crew Supporters Union props to Crew (and ex-City) midfielder Adam Moffat, who let loose an absolute golazo from what must have been 30-40 yards out for the first goal of the MLS season in the Crew's 2-0 victory over Pyromaniac FC. MLS can end their "Goal of the Year" promotion now, that was it! Okay, Green Army, say it with me!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Su-per, Su-per Ad!
Super Adam Moffat!

Also, congrats to Miami 300 winner Scott Dixon. It was great to see 25 cars on an Indycar grid as well as all of the top drivers on the same track. Not everything was good, however, as it is still plainly evident that Milka Duno is not capable of controlling an IndyCar on an oval for a full race. The problem is that Townsend Bell doesn't have enough sponsorship to run a full season in Dreyer & Reinbold's 2nd car. Thus, Milka gets to run the other races with her Citgo sponsorship. I'm thinking about starting a "Park Milka" campaign in order to get Mr. bell the necessary backing he needs to displace Milka and send her back to the type of racing she's good at: sportscars. I'll check around for pertinent figures as well as D&R's mailing address and post more info when I find it. I harbor no personal animosity towards Ms. Duno, by the way, I just think that she needs to leave the whole "female IndyCar driver" thing to those who are good at it, like Danica Patrick and Sarah Fisher.

Then there was Monday (OPENING DAY!!!!!!!!!!) The only thing more fun than opening day is kicking Chicago's butt on opening day. Baseball is back and the Tribe is looking good (Okay, the pitching was shaky, but it's only one game. By the way, it's not like anyone else in the AL Central has anything better) Right now all I know is that the Tribe is 1-0 and I am once again able to attend baseball games in person (the most fun a human being can possibly have).

Finally, there is the issue of the Monsters. Until this weekend, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with this team. It surely wasn't talent as the team has several players with NHL experience as well as some blue-chip prospects. It surely wasn't a lack of effort on the part of the coaching staff as Roy Sommer is nowhere in sight*. This weekend, however, it all became crystal clear. Just take a look at the following figures:

3/25 L 2-7 full-size rink
3/26 L 1-6 full size rink
3/28 L 1-4 full-size rink
3/29 OTL 5-6 short rink
3/30 L 1-6 full-size rink

These numbers make the necessary course of action crystal clear: shorten the rink @ the Q! After all, what's the sanctity of the 200X85 rink compared to brining the Calder Cup back to it's rightful home: Cleveland? It would also allow for some more seats, which appear to be necessary after Friday night's crowd of 14,343 (a legit number, by the way. If anything, there were comps that were not included), a number the NHL's Nashville Predators would kill for right now.

Also, am I the only one amazed that there were no penalties in sunday's game @ Toronto? Yes, you read that right: 0 PIM in 60 minutes of hockey!

Parting shot from the Woodchuck Hole: To those who claim that there is no connection between Saddam and 9/11 (meaning Al-Qaeda), explain this and this (neither article's from Fox News, so that's not an excuse).

*Roy Sommer, coach of the modern AHL Barons (01/02-05/06) was one of the most laid-back coaches, I've ever seen. I don't know whether or not it was a lack of interest in winning, but it sure came off that way.

Exciting Weekend In The Woodchuck Hole (Sorry for the delay!)

2008-03-28T14:38:00.000-04:00

It's going to be one heck of a weekend for this here marmot. Tonight, it's the Monsters (AAA hockey) vs. Toronto ($1 hot dogs, $1 soda, and a free hat, if the on-ice effort picks up from the last few outings, this'll be heaven), tomorrow marks both the high holy day of Buckeye State futbol known as Crewsmas as the Columbus Crew open up at Hunt Park against Toronto and the return of a unified IndyCar series with the Miami 300 (8 PM ESPN2). As a fan of fenderless motorsport, this is a moment of unbridled joy. Heck, I hugged the computer I read the news on upon reading of confirmation of the merger with Champ Car! After a Sunday consisting largely of church (Jesus Christ is Risen. He is Risen Indeed, Alleluia.*), typing papers, and watching televised basketball (as well as getting used to NASCAR sans a Jarrett on the track), Monday will be the greatest day of the entire year (weather permitting), Opening Day for the Cleveland Indians! They play Tor.... oops, Chicago (fell into a habit there). Have a good weekend and I'll be back on Tuesday with a recap of all the exciting events of the weekend as well as a few fresh rants.

* If you're Lutheran, you understand both the significance of this phrase and why periods are used instead of exclamation points. If not, it's (like much of Lutheranism) too lengthy to explain in this space.

Change of Plans

2008-03-26T15:33:00.000-04:00

In thinking about how to spend my last spring break (unless I go for a second grad degree*) next year, I was contemplating flying to Phoenix to watch Cleveland Indians Spring Training. I am seriously reconsidering these plans after hearing about the terrible effects of jet lag. If jet lag can make Hillary Clinton unable to tell the difference between a warm welcome from high-level dignitaries and a Port Kaituma Airstrip-esque fusillade of gunfire, I'm afraid to experience it for myself.

On a serious note, am I the only one sickened by the crap treatment our soldiers and veterans get these days? These people volunteer to fight and possibly die for us and we treat them like this?! or this?!?!

Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts! Like hockey, ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

How about baseball? Ahhhhhhh! Much better! Hard to believe the Tribe's last ever Grapefruit League game is tomorrow. Actually, the coming weekend is pretty exciting. More about that in tomorrow's dispatch from The Woodchuck Hole.

Until then, remember that it's not really a bad day unless you're incarcerated, trapped in a war zone, in Hell, or reliving the '91 Tribe season in a Groundhog Day-style continuous loop (which I believe is several denominations' theological definition of Hell).

*Don't laugh, I'm competent enough in two other areas (outside of history) to at least consider pursuing Master's degrees in them.

Welcome to the Woodchuck Hole!

2008-03-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

Note to Burke Airport officials: do not call the exterminator, the woodchuck hole in question is a fictional place.

Hello, my name is The Hairpin. I'm a woodchuck (and a highly opinionated one at that). I live in a woodchuck hole at Burke Lakefront Airport, right outside my namesake: the erstwhile turn 1 of the currently defunct Cleveland Grand Prix circuit. From said woodchuck hole, I shall opine on various topics including, but not limited to: auto racing, stick-and-ball (and puck) sports, politics, the economy, and pop culture. This may seem like an awful broad scope for a blog but, hey, I'm a renaissance marmot!